Communication | A sense of distance learned from cats

Cats teach us "the importance of not being disliked rather than being liked"

Similar habits of cats and humans

One of the most common differences between cat and human communication is whether to look at each other.

Humans make eye contact with people who like them, but for cats, not making eye contact is a sign of goodwill.

Yes, that's true, but don't you think it's not always the case?

For example, when a cat wants food, when it wants to play, it still stares at its owner and screams hard.

On the contrary, even in the case of human beings,

when you meet someone, you like, you would try turn your eyes away from that person so that he can’t realize your feelings.

If you are curious about her, but you dare not look at her

The expression of favor may change.

When someone was scolded at the company, or when they fail and are depressed, you don't stare at them, right?

Acts of turning your eyes can be said that emphasizes not being disliked by others rather than trying to be liked by others.

We may suddenly hug cats, rub our faces against them, or lift them because they are pets.

We think that they should be happy with our expression of affection.

But are cats really happy?

When we look at the communication between cats, they start with greetings, such as sticking their noses and smelling their butts.

It is possible that the only reason they do not rebel against their owners is that humans are stronger than cats, and because humans feed cats.

Cats may be strict about manners just because there are no words.

So, I thought that cats and humans might have something in common in communication.

There are various Kenpo in China.

Some are orthodox, such as Kung Fu and Shorinji Kenpo, while others are unusual, such as Jackie Chan's famous Drunken Master and Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow.

It seems that many of them imitate the movements of animals.

It is said that Kenpo was also used for self-defense, but in the present age when the law has been improved and the security is relatively good, there is rarely an opportunity to actually use it.

Rather than that, I feel that many people are now doing sports, exercise, and mental training.

Even so, I think there is still demand for self-defense because it is a dangerous world.

More than that, you may learn how to interact with people who are directly connected to your life.

Many educational books on the theme of communication skills are sold, and there are even schools.

This communication ability may also be learned from animals.

Some enlightenment books are so aggressive that you have to change your personality, so it may be difficult to incorporate them.

With the goodness of people and the quick mind, he gets into the pockets of others like a spy with skillful storytelling, and goes straight to the career path.

This time, I would like to think about common communication skills while focusing on the sense of distance that can be learned only because cats have long lived in harmony with humans, even among animals.

Encounter with a tabby cat

I have lived with cats since I was little.

Moreover, there are always a few animals.

And they are all protected cats.

At one point, a stray cat came home.

It was a tabby cat and a male.

At that time, I had two female cats.

Two of my female cats were pretty strong and hated the gray male cat kept in the neighborhood.

This gray male cat was called a bear.

Whenever I saw my female cat, the bear chased me up to my house, and sometimes I secretly came to eat food.

Therefore, I was impressed that my female cat did not match the cats of other houses.

However, the tabby cat mentioned above, whose name was Cain, did not show any resistance to his female cat.

Rather, they brought them home.

At first, my female cat was always hanging out in the square in front of my house, but on that day, it felt like Cain was nearby and the female cat was much closer while keeping a certain distance.

It seemed like we were waiting for our family to notice Cain.

I felt like female cats were telling me to feed him and take him home.

Cain kept a reasonable distance from the female cat and answered us with as thin a voice as possible.

When we reached out to Cain, he approached us.

And we gave him food, he ate it.

And we invited him to our house smoothly.

Difference with Bear ... (^^;

The great things about Cain are

• To be in the other person's field of vision
• Just be in sight and stay away from yourself
• Occasionally make a gentle voice to elicit the reaction of the other party
• Wait until the other person accepts
• If someone reach out, accept it obediently

Even if it is modest, it will be forgotten if it is not recognized by the other party.

He was in sight of us and the female cats all the time.

It is important for the other party to recognize that it is a mere exposure effect.

Being not greedy, wait for the reaction of the other person, and patience in human terms.

People have their own lifestyles.

It is sometimes laborious to suddenly apply something new to it.

It is not frustrated, but if you're missing something in your life and you meet exactly what you want, you'll be accepted right away.

But we do not know that each other will soon know what it is.

Therefore, it is necessary to have time to adjust each other's needs and needs while watching the reaction of the other party.

It is also important to accept the kindness of the other person when the conditions are met.

Occasionally, if you have been traumatized in the past, you may feel self-protection and take a trial action.

I want to know the other person for a moment, so I go out for a bargain.

Of course, I understand that the other person has a motive and wants to suspect that it is a fraud.

But if the other person is a low-key person, and if you're a scammer, they're well aware of your trials.

It's also woven in and will try to give you credit by presenting your convincing terms.

Although not mentioned here, trial behavior is not a way to detect the evil spirit of the other person.

On the contrary, it becomes a close relationship between dishonest people.

I think it's important to think about how to deal with fraud and to be honest with yourself.

The important thing is not to be greedy for people's favor

What is the difference between this stray cat, Cain, and the Bear that escapes?

The former is a desperate survivor to live.

The latter is a domestic cat

The sense of distance that I wait until I accept it and accept it if someone reaches out has helped me in my employment.

I got a job at the factory because of my relationship with the president, and there was a boss, a so-called senior lady, who was gaining the support of everyone.

It was the political dispute that made me feel a sense of crisis.

It was rumored that there was no such thing as being given preferential treatment because I entered through connections, or aiming for executives, and the senior lady and his subordinates packed up in the office and my salary was dismissed.

There were many things, but I think I was able to continue to have a good relationship both privately and at work.

That's because I've always been aware of that Cain.

How can I blend in like him?

And I didn't sneak up on the senior lady, I didn't get tired of it, I followed my work instructions, and I didn't unnaturally sprinkle my affection.

Eventually, I was invited to karaoke, a drinking party, and a house to feast on home cooking.

It was very delicious because it was very proud of fried chicken.

Another thing is that I went to college once I became a member of society, so I was far from my alumni.

If I tried to make friends here, I could have been suspected of being a person full of devotion.

There were many women, but I didn't talk to them, I was friendly only when answering, and if they had any problems, I provided the minimum necessary information and left.

It is not always necessary to be liked in everyday life.

However, if you are disliked, it will be difficult to do something.

Also, being liked may turn into disgust or hatred due to some mistake.

Being careful rather than modest.

If you are disliked and bullied, you should think about changing jobs or changing schools, but this sense of distance of cats may be important to avoid the old-fashioned situation of greedy and losing everything.